Darjeeling: 'nuf said.

It was a comfortable wednesday night at home, as i awaited my return to the godforsaken town whose name was etched on every inch of my identification as a college student. Being there was a whole different life altogether even though it was two hours away from home. The humble outlook of Calcutta is completely misunderstood and it fits the whole description of the phrase, "looks are deceving". And as i was deceived every single day of my stay at home, i wanted a break. Bangalore was a disaster, and as i was thinking about the weekend long debacle, my brother called asking me if i wanted to spend the end of this slow week in darjeeling, the excitement paced everything else up! I agreed almost instantly, and i took a friend along, the one from the stoner conversations we all love and have come to know as tanveer.
We started friday night only to reach the basecamp from where all the cars and the taxis make their way up the hills amongst the clouds in this secluded but modern haven of man. The hills are an amazing distraction when one is in excess of mono-living. I had to pick up my brother from the village en route to darjeeling, he was there for work(i got to know what later, and i was so thankful!)

He had promised us everything that we wanted and boy did he deliver, he was top notch in everything he did, and i looked up to him throughout my life and this weekend was no different, we reached the cottage in darjeeling which was entitled to him, the deputy magistrate.
The name of our abode of peace and tranquility was tulip, fitting for the best cottage in town, as beautiful as the fireplaces inside were, so was the outside, which gave it an eerie historic touch. It was made in the 1920's and was occupied by the governor's personal physician(it's behind the governor house).

Tanveer and I made the living room into a live weed garden, and the bedrooms were the crash sites for distraught minds and tired bodies. The stuff that the brother had gotten for us was the best we had smoked so far, thanks man!

The view from Tulip was the only place from where when seen, we realised we weren't connected, the phones had full signal. the layers of hills from atop the hill we were on was astonishing, there were hills standing straight in numbers as if to hold us back in this town, we were more than happy to comply.

Imprisonment had never been so smooth, just the walks were tiring but one glance of the hills made up for all the steps taken at bordering acute angles, it was approximately 15 minutes from tulip, the multiplex movie theatre, bhai had something to give to someone there and we walked, we had glenary's on the right which was this modern day eaterie with a fabulous cafe, a phenomenal restaurant and an uptown pub. The similarities with the rest of the world were obvious, after all it was a human settlement, and whats a 'human' settlement without these!
After the walk around the town and meeting people, we had decided to call it an eventful first few hours, we got back to the flowery abode of grass and got merry.
The machine that was working in tandom with me was super-high by evening, and he started his fits of laughter, the sight was so relaxing, it brought in mind sarah brightman and her eden! My brother woke up and by the time he was done getting ready for his social arrangments 4000mts above sea level, i wondered if the social glue of the human race got through everything else, as it did through the hills of darj.

He had to do what he did best, and we were obliged to experience darjeeling with the best and the both of us never once felt like tourists, we went to joey's next which was beside the movie theatre, and i had the idea of getting tickets for spiderman, the new movie in town and which i wanted to watch, but my village at a meagre level of the sea did not provide the oppurtunity, so i wanted to grasp this, so i went in and got tickets for the next day's show, and then we sat in joey's listening to janis jopin, chuck berry, louis armstrong, a little hendrix too, the guy who owned the place was a delight and this was my brother's joint, so everything was ours! we had a blast, and then bhai had to go to another place called omni which was this new venture started by these two other guys, one heavily tattoed and the other was a simple goateed, surajda and sameerda, the brother insisted on calling them with the suffix of 'da' or i would come across as disrespectful. Listening to him as we always do, i was happy and it paid off, surajda made me a hot tody, the drink of darj! its 60ml brandy with water and honey, a heavenly surprise, very pleasant!

Tanveer was stoned anyway.

We came back to tulip, walking when no one else was, ten in darj is two am everywhere else, it was 15.5 degrees and we were comfortable, it was may and it was the summer in calcutta, who wouldn't be?
The walk was spooky but fun nonetheless, we were too high to see a ghost or even something that we shouldn't!
The next day was the laziest ever, it was one of the days we just wanted to sit and get stoned(like any other day!) we saw the movie in the afternoon and got back in the evening to siliguri for the train.

We watched a movie in darjeeling, we lived in the best place possible, we walked with them, we sat at the mall, had sandwiches in glenary's, sat for hours in joey's and gossiped, had hot tody in omni, we did it all, we 'lived' as citizens of darjeeling, it was a very alien feeling, out of this world, loved every second of it.

The Same World

People from all around the world, Blacks, Iranians, Indians, Brits(the whole lot!) had come together in this world of oppurtunity at the knee of the country. They renamed it Bengaluru recently, but its the same Bangalore to everyone else. The weekend was my chance to get away from the monotonous classes and college, and i thought that it would be good for me to experience a new city for a break, after visiting Delhi for every other weekend that i wanted a break. A close friend was there and so was one who i had known since the time i can remember, they were the ones who had taken upon them the responsibility of showing me around and letting me crash at night when the whole day was spent at attaining the level of satisfaction, that "fun" would bring. And if we were satisfied with the fun we had, we'd call it a night.

Fun can never be measured with points and numbers, but when it was the turn of someone i thought i knew, it was a whole different ball game! We got into the best clubs in the city without the cover charges because of his contacts, and he thought it was nice to flaunt to his old friend about how much he had achieved. Sadly enough, my decisions were involuntary as, on it rested the grumpiness or happiness of the faces of two other individuals, one he was in love with and the other was just a part of his weekend routine of "compulsive fun".

The other two were sensible people but just at the wrong place at the wrong time, i pitied them, but i understood their position for the past couple of months, and i would exactly know how they felt as rational beings to be part of this ridiculous lifestyle. End of the month, no money, expectations are supposed to be low and fun is supposed to take a back seat, survival strategies have to be thought over, survival, it seemed, had a different definition in this guy's head. My best friend was by my side during this ordeal that i would call educational, if the subject of one's interest was character understanding.

Superbikes were out by midnight, and they weren't ridden for the thrill or the adrenaline rush, but to pick up the women who were scantily clad in their branded vaults of wastage, money was around, Bling was dust, the air was contagious, trust me, not in a good way.

Intimidation was felt around the room, everyone was talking about the one who looked the best or the one who didn't know if she was wearing the skirt as a hat or a hat as a skirt. Superficial is what it is called. Cell phones were worth as much as the per capita income of Zaire, Fast cars were parked on the driveway, the occupants lived 2 blocks away, but they had to drive, what if the dust of the city took away the shine of their overtly decked face and weeks of planning inches of placing the ever-shining make-up. We were the laggers, the broke people who had to be there because we got in for free, and we had to make our presence felt, never ever had i experienced forceful partying, i guess there is always a first time for everything, it was pool side, the numbers started pouring in, and one wouldn't once think twice about calling our country one of the poorest in the world, at this rate, we were the richest in this world and all the other ones.

"Shake what your mamma gave you"...hahahah, thats what i thought, if only someone had rattled their brains when they were heading into this path towards nothingness and popularity, they would actually shake their teeny-weeny microscopic brains and then make decisions which would stop their own selves from the wrath of contagious showing off and power flashing...

I love music, but it is definitive for every single person, i would rather sit in a corner, drink something that would not cost the sky, and have my time with my close friends, and meet their acquaintances and grow a network which would last, and which would be originally valuable, but here value had a different definition all together, i guess materialism took over for this weekend. If we had to define a church in their terms, it would be a building made of gold and plated with platinum just in case the markets fell and gold prices went down!! It wouldn't matter who was in it.

Relationships were born, some destroyed, passes made, rejections taken, Women danced, the men watched while moving. A 'woman' knew she was the tallest amongst all of the other present at that party, so she thought it was a good idea to walk around the pool fifty times, so people could take a closer look at her and then come to know the truth, that she was actually the tallest and the only transvestite at that party posing as a woman, i have nothing against a transvestite, they have a right to party too, but not as woman, come as you are.

It's unbelievable how much people change in minutes, and how people have changed in years, i don't blame anyone, just the meal on the plane, it was the first satisfactory portion on an airline, which had never happened before, but since i paid enough on the weekend, this was god's way of saying, when you down in the dumps, the higher plane, no matter if it was still underground would feel like heaven, i'm back home, i spoke to the people who meant a lot, and i sent my message to someone who i thought meant a lot, a lot has changed, it was a weekend, Life's too quick, i have to make the best of it, this time, it was decided and planned, next time, it will be.

Whats with the vocabulary?

I was bored to death, the morning was lazy as lazy can be. There was that nice song playing in the back, yes, as a personal soundtrack of life, it could have very well been a movie.
Reading random blogs sometimes please me, and i sometimes wonder if people ever did this as a thing to while away time. i stumbled upon a couple which were beyond my personal realm of understanding, as if it was some code that my brain had to decipher and then the mind would understand what my eyes were seeing, they were words, words that i had never ever seen before. I agree i am not a compulsive reader, nor do i prefer to remember words, my conversation is limited to the understandable level. Layman is what i would term myself as, well universal appeal might not be the motive of these bloggers, they feel they need to show their talents(so to speak) through words which the world would need a dictionary to understand. i haven't met people who speak like this, nor do i feel that it is imperative to learn and understand words which i would never use in a normal sit down with someone. That, which i call real life.

Do they write their blogs in Microsoft word, and then keep looking for synonyms for their simpler words? or do they seriously think that they would dream of using those codes in real life! i wish them luck, and i thank them for giving me this opportunity to write something about! I never said they weren't useful, tickled my funny bone, gave me a laugh, and i went on with my life with another song playing in the back, this was a phase, a nice little phase, rush of emotions, bunch of questions, all answered with one little blog! writing helps!

Why people do what they do...

As i listen to trouble by coldplay, i seriously start thinking about a life without one. Marvellous is what it would be termed as, but since no one has the pleasure of leading a marvellous life, i start thinking about how someone would figure out the definition of a perfect life, it might be a day long but it has to be perfect, and it would be a fairytale ending. "happily ever after" would be carved on one's tombstone. Tombstone here could represent anything which is everlasting or which goes on and on as a legacy.

This post comes only a few days after the world was shocked by an act of madness, he was crazy to be shooting all of those people in that hall, it depresses me to even term myself human, after the massacre at Virginia Tech. We as humans are capable of doing such amazing as well as such horrible things, that makes me wonder if there was a supreme power or just evolution, if we have evolved into a stage where we can make our decisions which may affect the lives of others, do we have that power?? do we possess the necessary intelligence to be living in this world of oppurtunities and mishaps?? maybe.
The world here on the internet is so connected and as if everyone was working together here, maybe that is what is missing, the sense of belonging and the sense of terming us as a community more than terming us as individuals, maybe that would bring about a change in how the world is progressing today.

Some things have happened in the past that i regret now, but i don't regret the circumstances that i was in, probably if i wasn't in that place at that time, i probably wouldn't know how to react if i faced it again at some point of time in the future, i forgive easily but i do not forget, because i believe that circumstances and situations make people do what they do, of course leaving aside the maniacs on a killing spree. When someone abuses or reacts, its denial. Anger, distress and anxiety are all expressions of weakness according to Freud, if it was so, then every human being is weak in one sense or another, no one is perfect. Blink decisions help us to make most of our changes, numerous calculations and amazing pros and cons are discussed in that fifth of a second in which we make our move. The perception of good and bad comes with the inclusion of the past and the teachings, if we learnt well, we live well.

Circumstances are the only way we learn and the only way we regret or forget, the past is so important in our present lives that we don't stop to think once about why, how and what happened.

If there is a God
I know he likes to rock
He likes his loud guitars
His spiders from mars


Who are you this time?
Are you one of us, flying blind
Cause I'm down here throwing stones
While you're so far from home

Word: Hurting and heavy

Since this morning, I've had the most weird doubts about some issues i shouldn't have doubts about, its absurd and completely irrelevant to my sense of living and belonging to this community that we very easily and casually term 'human'.
the world is a cynical, cunning area for activities which belong here, the word spread about something can be hugely successful for someone and equally weird and unsuccessful for someone else, in this age, thought processes are so vast and diverse that there is little room for rumors, the word is so big a term, that even the most unimportant of things make sense!

the general idea about somethings that we have are so blunt and hellbent, that we do not think beyond them, it is because, orthodox ways of living are so trusted, because they have got us where we are today, and risks are not a part of the daily curriculum of the being. some people believe in working towards a goal or a particular destination which apparently 'destiny' holds the answer to, believe in it, and it shall drive you in its own chosen path, the actual path might be sketched in your mind, but the turns that you are supposed to take in there are lead by this person or living personification of thought. Destiny had it for me to think on these lines because i have to admit being led or driven by this overrated term or process, i have never once realised what led me into being the man today, is it my past or is it my thought of the future, i have difficulty in placing them in boxes which are labelled accordingly.

my past teaches me on my path, there are places that are alluring and they want me to go their way, but i drive on...i stop for gas when i sleep at night and i wake up in the morning shifting to high gear for the road to continue on its unknown way, without markers or boards to help me, i take my keyboard as my punching bag, and i punch letters, which are heavy hurting to the tips, I'm in a hurry and i am high, i want to get rid of my emotions so that i can enjoy what's playing on the pod now, its called music and this moment feels like heaven.