Eclipse

My sun is covered with my quest for the truth, i now realise that the truth is hidden in the darkest of places, not knowing how it got there, but the reward of finding it, is sunshine...

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Dear Rajiv.

Dear Rajiv, this is not an obituary nor am I going to portray a eulogy through these words. I will de-mystify death my friend, for you live and always will.

Never thought that the day would begin with such news, and never really cared about how the world outside functioned, for that dear brother I apologise, the feeling that I share with possibly a thousand others is unexplainable explicitly through words, it takes about a lightspeed rush of emotions, which leaves us dumbfounded and thoroughly shocked.

That last match, the winning boundary. The celebratory hostel ‘rice & dal’ which somehow tasted like heaven for victory was the essence of it, never relished a meal so much bro. your enthusiasm to bring change to a steadfast bunch still amazes me, and the life you chose to give us through your undying energy will somehow always inspire us through the rest of our lives. The final two months of college might just feel like another age, with cold smiles and non-zealous actions. I do not sympathise to sadden the state we all have found ourselves in, I know you wouldn’t have appreciated it much, life goes on and so it shall pass, as always. It’s just a tad more difficult for us to live it with memories which will remind us of your dedication towards physics, algorithms and all that, the other side of engineering that I always asked help for, and you never shied from providing it.

The morning of the Viva-voce, and our Study-kiosk would take care of us. The confidence you exhibited through your love for ‘hindi’ and how Indians need hindi more will make me wonder about the rest of the world on one side and you on one, you still held your own. We could be more like the Chinese, and make it on our own! I believe you friend, and the passionate conversations regarding the same will live on, I assure you.

A million detours later when the news hit the fan, I like anyone else couldn’t believe it, and honestly, I still can’t. I guess at this point let me try and kill inhibitions about that cloaked figure, death. The time was just wrong, it was wrong and a questionable doubt in everyone’s mind will alter sleep for many nights. The weird thing about death is, since it is sudden and unruly for many instances, the distress and anguish will create an equally difficult life ahead of us, time will heal, but teach as well. I’ve learnt my share.
Respecting life every time death shows it’s ugly face will cliché’ our beliefs, celebrating life will create guilt. Somehow, death will always play its part in the worst aftertaste, Life with all it’s colours, it’s ambiguity, It’s intricate details will always chose to amaze us, and sometimes shake hands with our cloaked demeanor to pass the torch on. You will always glow, and provide light in our lives. All that you have left behind, will glow with your presence in our souls. From one soul to another, rest in peace old friend. Love

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Stared upon.

It's been a while since i wrote, and i was beginning to wonder whether my fingers gave way or was it one of the innumerable such instances that i felt so. Well, its post midnight and i suddenly had the urge, so here i am typing away. Things have changed drastically, and i have none else to blame but the invisible race against time.

Ambition has struck me like a bolt of lightning, and things are to change for the better, or so people say. Today, i am going to try and draw a line between the 'Para' (prefix) and the 'Normal'. If the world was a calculated balance between forces, then the highs and lows should be taken with the stride, and one should always expect light at the end of the tunnel, in which case. Balance is maintained, Balance is divine and Balance is blind.

On that note, How many people around you are really your friends? Not everyone is a mind-reader, and i do not believe the ones who do! So, one tiny ray of hope, that we refer to as 'thought' remains our's and our's alone. I am a firm believer in 'aura' and the inverted commas that i use to highlight some of these words, is because of the attention my thought commands, Hell! it got me writing. Anger, Hatred, Envy. The most common forms of emotion (the darker side) developed in the course of time taken to establish a relationship, a love affair turned sour, makes killers. A friendship gone wrong, makes enemies. A brothers' rivalry, tears the family apart into families. That sour taste, The Nauseous repercussion following it, That Craving to be alone.

So in general, my inference from the matters mentioned above gives me a very naive understanding of the situation, which i wish to share. A situation filled with love, can just as quickly be equally filled with hatred, or is it proportional? the more you love someone, the more difficult it is to make amends after things turn sour. The crack remains.
Holy men mention the effect of the normal 'glare' or the thirsty 'stare', the aura emitted from such a form of human expression together intertwined with the 'thought' of even the faintest form of 'jealousy', 'hate' or 'awe' can create a universal imbalance(i did say my paragraphs could have the 'paranormal' touch to it, belief is needed and strongly recommended!) which in turn affects the aura of the individual on the receiving end of, lets call the poor unfortunate soul 'the stared upon'.

The stared upon, cannot stare back probably because such emotions and thoughts have not been instilled, here karma plays it's part. The one with the stare has to wait for the full circle before he completely realises his mistake, or is made to realise by the collateral effect of regaining balance, by our complex universe. Hail 'whoever is pulling the strings'! I have been the stared upon, balance dictates my next course of action. Staring back is the best possible reflex action that my short-tempered brain orders, but time being the greatest healer and teacher of all time. I wish to learn, and forgive, forget and let nature/karma take its course. Till the circle ends where it has to, i have nothing more to write.