Eclipse

My sun is covered with my quest for the truth, i now realise that the truth is hidden in the darkest of places, not knowing how it got there, but the reward of finding it, is sunshine...

Friday, July 20, 2007

Office: An intern's eye

Greatly accomplished as it was this internship, it was nothing close to what I had imagined, and the foolish descriptions of a mentor had enlightened my hope for a complete exquisite, tiresome and ruthless but fruitful experience, as always, the expected never happens, and I was first-hand thrown into this world of ‘bitching’, ‘bad-mouthing’ and extremely profession-less professional ethics.

9 to 6, that’s what he said, the man I was reporting to, the mentor in disguise as my ‘boss’, strange as that sounds, this man was the most obnoxious work of God, I know every human being is beautiful, and everyone is equal. But, just by the sheer atrocities of such a man can he sustain the reputation of a complete lunatic/bastard (especially by my favourite co-workers of the opposite sex). He was to some, just a weasel making his big-time decisions because of his recent promotion, he was a complete work of art, misplaced, unidentifiable, stupid-ass, abstract to some, but he was as clear as a god-damn wall to me.

His conversation with me started of on a very professional note, it was a greeting, and to my dismay, it was my job/humility to call him ‘sir’. With no respect for this personality lacking piece of junk, I had taken the chair of a colleague who was absent due to his viral infection, the one my boss should have gotten, but by chance slipped 10 steps away to this poor guy, lucky for me, I got myself an internet connection and eight hours of senseless browsing, it can be such a pain in the ass when you don’t want it.

He asked me to do ten things that I caught one of, and as luck would have it, it was to be done by the end of the day, searching for every recording equipment that my brain possessed during his one minute speech, I tried to put together what exactly he wanted from me, and as I found out by the end of the day, I was WRONG. I did what he asked, but apparently missed a few commas. Son of a bitch.

The other people in the department in which I was posted were very nice and sleazily suspicious about what I was doing, if I was listening in on their conversations, if I had found out that the one in the front was the office slut, the one in the back was frustrated enough to slit his wrists, and one wise woman. I respected her and I still do. The viral guy was just missing and I did not bother about what he would be, I had seen the king of monsters on a computer, I think I could handle a recovering patient of the oh-so-deadly viral infection. The boss of the boss was the no. 1 sleaze-bag in office, I was warned on my way from home that he would try to do everything in his power to lay my ass if he found out I was a girl, lucky for me, that sense-less bastard had his hands full with my grown-ass man self.

The next day was as good as the first, even better since I think I forgot to put a few semi-colons in my questionnaire, oh well, he probably did not understand what I was doing there in the first place, but he said good-job and he had just been promoted from overtly insensitive cock-sucker to a cunning, shrewd bastard. Sorry with the words, my tongue seems to have made a pact with my fingers on this board, every time he is in the picture so are these words of marvelous degrading power.
The ass-kissers in the office were so bloody in the face, it was unbelievable to see how these people managed to keep their jobs, I would rate it as harassment of the first order, sexual or not, these guys could do such a terrific job at it, “sir this sir that”, kiss my ass office slut. The frustrated idiot couldn’t even understand when the boss slyly said fuck-off, he still hoped for that multi-faced sleaze-factory to give him a raise, I don’t know what he wanted, but he was tired of the boss and so was I, he was in the department with that man-whore for about two years, and I could understand, I had half a mind of slitting with him and it had only been two days.

I had only just completed what he wanted me to do, and I kept impressing him with my flowery cover-up of words, that I think is god-gifted because the only words that my brain had personally given to me either started with F or with an M or with an A, I mean enough with that already, I think some divine power was operating on my tongue at that time, I held back all the forces of natural instinct and went against the odds and made my first statement, “sir, I cannot complete the whole period of four weeks, I have college and I have to get back”
Came the reply, “finish it in the week coming up, give us the presentation and I think that should be enough.”
I did what I had to, I cant say that I did not have a gala time at the field-surveys, I loved it and the person who was asked to take me there was a wonderful human being, I had fun on that job, and I think it was all worth it to see how what happened and why it happened, I have my answers, till I am questioned again, I think I shall be able to make a few smart moves to get me on that corporate ladder, where each step is dirty, bitchy, superficial, cruel and last but not the least, it needed that hold on that tongue, which I’m sure, divine intervention would take care of. ;)

3 comments:

Unknown said...

dude ....
... i can understand wot u ve been thru .... but believe u ve done a great job while jotting down ur experience..... as ur tounge n ur fingers had a nice syncronization
do one thing send a link of this to ur boss n ur department members ...
n i m sure the company ll b soon posting for jobs for hiring new ppl
it was real funny ....brilliant .

Unknown said...

dude ....
... i can understand wot u ve been thru .... but believe me u ve done a great job while jotting down ur experience..... as ur tounge n ur fingers had n awsum syncronization
do one thing send a link of this to ur boss n ur department members ...
n i m sure the company ll b soon posting for jobs for hiring new ppl

it was real funny ....brilliant .
keep it up ..
keep on rocking d same way ..
PEACE!!!

Saagar said...

19 and already inducted into the sleazy office world? Now that's catching them young. Guess you know what's waiting out there now.
I think it's imperative we start practicing ass kissing skills right away. Or go ontro and get others to practice on us.
Nice post man. Keep em coming.