Word: Hurting and heavy

Since this morning, I've had the most weird doubts about some issues i shouldn't have doubts about, its absurd and completely irrelevant to my sense of living and belonging to this community that we very easily and casually term 'human'.
the world is a cynical, cunning area for activities which belong here, the word spread about something can be hugely successful for someone and equally weird and unsuccessful for someone else, in this age, thought processes are so vast and diverse that there is little room for rumors, the word is so big a term, that even the most unimportant of things make sense!

the general idea about somethings that we have are so blunt and hellbent, that we do not think beyond them, it is because, orthodox ways of living are so trusted, because they have got us where we are today, and risks are not a part of the daily curriculum of the being. some people believe in working towards a goal or a particular destination which apparently 'destiny' holds the answer to, believe in it, and it shall drive you in its own chosen path, the actual path might be sketched in your mind, but the turns that you are supposed to take in there are lead by this person or living personification of thought. Destiny had it for me to think on these lines because i have to admit being led or driven by this overrated term or process, i have never once realised what led me into being the man today, is it my past or is it my thought of the future, i have difficulty in placing them in boxes which are labelled accordingly.

my past teaches me on my path, there are places that are alluring and they want me to go their way, but i drive on...i stop for gas when i sleep at night and i wake up in the morning shifting to high gear for the road to continue on its unknown way, without markers or boards to help me, i take my keyboard as my punching bag, and i punch letters, which are heavy hurting to the tips, I'm in a hurry and i am high, i want to get rid of my emotions so that i can enjoy what's playing on the pod now, its called music and this moment feels like heaven.